CrustyCoastBendFan
Active member
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2025
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- 171
I was riding high on hope as the Spurs vs. Timberwolves game loomed on Sunday, fresh off the emotional tilt-a-whirl of watching my Texans in the NFL. DeMeco’s crew, with their baffling plays and head-scratching coaching decisions, have probably shaved months off my life, so I was eager for some Spurs therapy. Sure, there are a few guys on the roster who might think a pick-and-roll is a sushi dish, but at least none of them are calling the shots from the bench. Still, the game turned out to be downright weird. I figured the Spurs would need to show grit after the Nuggets game drained them, but hearing they rolled in late was the perfect spoiler for the chaos I was about to witness.
First, the grades—let’s just say a solid C- for almost everyone. The team shot over 50% and battled toe-to-toe in the paint with the towering Timberwolves frontcourt. But passing the ball? Not so much. With only 17 assists on 44 made shots, it was pure ENRIQUE Ball—like Enrique Iglesias crooning “Hero,” except nobody was rescuing their teammates. They held the lead for three quarters until everything fell apart in the third, when no one seemed able to play a lick of defense or even seemed to care.
Devin: C- No one embodied the shift from the team-oriented grit shown in the Denver win to the main character energy more than Devin. Taking 20 shots and hitting just 1 of 9 from three, finishing with 22 points on 20 attempts, is unacceptable. That’s not Spurs basketball.
De'Aaron: C- Sure, he was more efficient than Devin, but he basically brought the same lukewarm vibes. We’re not going to be a successful, serious team when our main guy only serves up 4 assists and then pulls a Houdini act in the second half and fourth quarter after dropping 20 in the first half.
Dylan Harper: C+. I want to write Dylan HYPE…er… but it’s not his fault he’s become the darling of the commentators. On one hand, it was fantastic—he looked unstoppable driving to the basket, especially in just his third game back from injury. He flashed speed, determination, and all the flair of a highlight reel… but also had as many assists as me: zero. So, when your entire backcourt refuses to share the ball, you’re in trouble—and in that fourth quarter, oh, we were.
Luke Kornet, Harrison Barnes, and Julian Champagnie. D+. On one hand, when your backcourt isn’t passing and you’re one of the guys who depends on those passes, you’re going to have a bad game. They did. It’s not like these guys were contributing in other ways either. Julian, who had been a demon on the boards in recent games, got bullied by the Wolves’ interior power. Kornet was almost unusable against the Wolves’ smaller lineup. Tough game for these guys—not entirely their fault—but they weren’t exactly setting bone-shattering screens. That’s a D+.
Kelly Olynyk gets a B-. He was pretty much the only guy setting solid screens, grabbing rebounds, and actually playing good defense when he was on the floor. The thing is, he only played 14 minutes. That’s on Mitch, I suppose, but this game was so strange I can’t entirely blame him. We’ll get to his grade soon enough.
Lindy Waters INC dude I barely recall he even played.... So... INC
Keldon Johnson: B-. He scored 22 off the bench, brought energy, hit 2-of-4 threes, and grabbed 8 rebounds. He did what he could, so B-. This loss definitely wasn’t on him. He even defended Anthony Edwards on a few possessions and looked competent. What more could you EXPECT?
DJG, Carter Bryant, and Bismack Biyombo all had incomplete performances. They were in for garbage time, except for Carter, who was one of the few guys playing true Spurs basketball even though he didn’t score a point or fill up the box score. Hopefully, when the injured players return, Carter will get some reps and development in Austin, finally.
Jeremy Sochan. D-. No need to beat a dead horse—we’re all well aware of what he did, didn’t do, could do, or couldn’t do.
Mitch INC... I don’t know what button he could have pushed on this machine. He seemed to be a victim of circumstance. Nobody was in the mood to play the kind of ball needed to get a win in Minnesota tonight. He had just coached the game of his short career in Denver. This game, and more importantly that entire 4th quarter, was a classic. Burn the tape and move on. Let’s get home. Everybody skip the gym the next day—just go out and enjoy life. Watch a movie, do some gardening, play some video games. In other words, shit happens.
First, the grades—let’s just say a solid C- for almost everyone. The team shot over 50% and battled toe-to-toe in the paint with the towering Timberwolves frontcourt. But passing the ball? Not so much. With only 17 assists on 44 made shots, it was pure ENRIQUE Ball—like Enrique Iglesias crooning “Hero,” except nobody was rescuing their teammates. They held the lead for three quarters until everything fell apart in the third, when no one seemed able to play a lick of defense or even seemed to care.
Devin: C- No one embodied the shift from the team-oriented grit shown in the Denver win to the main character energy more than Devin. Taking 20 shots and hitting just 1 of 9 from three, finishing with 22 points on 20 attempts, is unacceptable. That’s not Spurs basketball.
De'Aaron: C- Sure, he was more efficient than Devin, but he basically brought the same lukewarm vibes. We’re not going to be a successful, serious team when our main guy only serves up 4 assists and then pulls a Houdini act in the second half and fourth quarter after dropping 20 in the first half.
Dylan Harper: C+. I want to write Dylan HYPE…er… but it’s not his fault he’s become the darling of the commentators. On one hand, it was fantastic—he looked unstoppable driving to the basket, especially in just his third game back from injury. He flashed speed, determination, and all the flair of a highlight reel… but also had as many assists as me: zero. So, when your entire backcourt refuses to share the ball, you’re in trouble—and in that fourth quarter, oh, we were.
Luke Kornet, Harrison Barnes, and Julian Champagnie. D+. On one hand, when your backcourt isn’t passing and you’re one of the guys who depends on those passes, you’re going to have a bad game. They did. It’s not like these guys were contributing in other ways either. Julian, who had been a demon on the boards in recent games, got bullied by the Wolves’ interior power. Kornet was almost unusable against the Wolves’ smaller lineup. Tough game for these guys—not entirely their fault—but they weren’t exactly setting bone-shattering screens. That’s a D+.
Kelly Olynyk gets a B-. He was pretty much the only guy setting solid screens, grabbing rebounds, and actually playing good defense when he was on the floor. The thing is, he only played 14 minutes. That’s on Mitch, I suppose, but this game was so strange I can’t entirely blame him. We’ll get to his grade soon enough.
Lindy Waters INC dude I barely recall he even played.... So... INC
Keldon Johnson: B-. He scored 22 off the bench, brought energy, hit 2-of-4 threes, and grabbed 8 rebounds. He did what he could, so B-. This loss definitely wasn’t on him. He even defended Anthony Edwards on a few possessions and looked competent. What more could you EXPECT?
DJG, Carter Bryant, and Bismack Biyombo all had incomplete performances. They were in for garbage time, except for Carter, who was one of the few guys playing true Spurs basketball even though he didn’t score a point or fill up the box score. Hopefully, when the injured players return, Carter will get some reps and development in Austin, finally.
Jeremy Sochan. D-. No need to beat a dead horse—we’re all well aware of what he did, didn’t do, could do, or couldn’t do.
Mitch INC... I don’t know what button he could have pushed on this machine. He seemed to be a victim of circumstance. Nobody was in the mood to play the kind of ball needed to get a win in Minnesota tonight. He had just coached the game of his short career in Denver. This game, and more importantly that entire 4th quarter, was a classic. Burn the tape and move on. Let’s get home. Everybody skip the gym the next day—just go out and enjoy life. Watch a movie, do some gardening, play some video games. In other words, shit happens.
